May 11th, 2016
Handlebar mustaches, suspenders, pocket watches—apparently all these retro things are “back,” as the young people say. All cool. But a bit on the superficial side. There is, however, one person truly committed to bringing “it” “back,” to truly returning to the authenticity of yesteryear: Jim Hedges, presidential candidate for the Prohibition Party.
That’s right folks, just when we need another ban on alcohol the most: The Prohibition Party is back!
Which is to say, it never really went away, reports the Guardian. Support for the Prohibition Party has dwindled a bit since its heyday at the turn of the last century, but they’re not letting that get them down. In 2012, the party’s candidate for president obtained a total of 518 votes.
“Zero. None whatsoever,” said Hedges, displaying a level of realism rare among modern presidential candidates when asked what his chances are of being elected to the presidency of the United States. Hedges was, however, elected to the position of tax assessor for Thompson Township, population 1,098, after running unopposed. He says there are about “three dozen” paying members of the Prohibition Party, who each contribute $10 a year.
Candidates watch out: No one can rock the nostalgia vote like Jim Hedges.